most of these are ripped from a similar thread on here a year or so back...
"wow, i've never done it with a real girl before. its much better like this!"
"jeeeez, your sister was no-where near this good!"
"when your powers combine i am CAPTAIN PLANET!"
"can the dog watch?"
"can i put the mask on?"
"Look how hot I look."
"haha I was in 3rd grade when you were born." -ive used that one...
"Where do babies come from?!"
"MOM! TURN THE FUCKING T.V. DOWN! I'M TRYING TO MAKE LOVE IN HERE!" (even funnier when you live by yourself)
"i wanna play Halo."
"guess I lost the bet on who whould fuck the ugly one."
"this reminds me of a funny story about me and a hooker."
"IT BROKE"
"Im the king of the world!"
"Damn you suck at this."
"yahtzee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"