Originally posted by:dfv
Someone post that gif.
Originally posted by:Jack Bauer - CTU[/
A Pole, an American, and a German had a room full of rancid used tampons, and they decided to have a contest to see who could stay in there the longest.
First it was the American's turn. The other two locked him in the room and waited. A week later, they heard him whimpering and pounding on the door so they let him out. "That is the sickest smell I have ever endured!" cried the American. "I couldn't stay in there another minute!"
Next it was the German's turn. After a month he finally banged on the door to be let out. "Oh God, that is the most putrid smell in the world! I couldn't take it another minute!" he cried as he gasped for breath.
Finally it was the Pole's turn. They locked him in the room and waited. A week went by, a month, a year. The German and American heard nothing. Finally they began to worry, so they yelled through the door, "You can come out now! You've won the contest by far!" To which the Pole yelled back, "No, not yet! I'm not done eating the jelly donuts."
ds to be a national Slovak day.
Originally posted by:cbrickhouseOriginally posted by: Bonsai
I woke up to a state trooper banging on my door this morning, looking for my brother. "Oh, he's not in any trouble or anything, we just need to know where he is. Do you know how we can reach him?" FUUUUUUUUUUUU. It doesn't matter how law-abiding I am, every time I hear that distinct authoritative knock, my heart jumps into my throat and my hands start shaking. Worst shit ever.
And I was up late baking the fucking shamrock cookies that my little pseudo step-sister wanted to take into school today. Hand painted/decorated cutouts, extremely tedious. She needed 60, and I made enough that there'd still be a solid 3 dozen leftover so I could take them down to my dad's store like I do every year. Woke up this morning and there were only 5 cookies left. lol. FAIL. My mom ate a dozen of the fucking things when she got up in the middle of the night, and then her boyfriend took it upon himself to take the rest to work with him. I hate everyone today.
so what did he do