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Six Feet Under - 13

Eric Paradox   (16 reviews)

Posted: 03/30/2005 | Comments: 14 | Rate:

Alright, so let me start off by saying that I hate Chris Barnes, and I hate Six Feet Under. Nonetheless, the recent bukkakking this album's been getting from various metal review sites has prompted me to give this band a chance and give them an objective review.

Chris Barnes' vocals still sound as hoarse and lame as ever. I often ask myself if the guy smokes marijuana for the sole purpose of making his voice so hoarse that he doesn't have to make a real death metal growl, or if it's just a frequent casual hobby for him because he feels confident that all the phallus that goes in his throat will scrape it up enough to do the job on its own. I really can't stand his vocals, and they still make me sick with their lack of quality as they always have.

Riffing sounds considerably more inventive than the horrid crap I heard when I watched the live video of Bringer Of Blood, I think on this album the band has put in the time to put a few variations on the 2 or 3 riffs that they drag throughout an entire song. It's picked up speed a bit, although that isn't saying much; at times I've wondered if they should try being a doom band with the way they plod along, but it's obvious that they put in a great deal of effort on this release to play this shit at a decent pace for death metal. The primary pounts I'm giving them for technicality are for the decent solos that they do when they're not overdoing the tremolo.

The lyrics in this band, as always, are completely atrocious, and by atrocious I don't mean brutal, I mean horribly childish. Is Barnes as old as the title of this album? The reviews and hype about this album talk about twisted and puzzling tales of gruesome sadism.... right.

I think that fans of older Six Feet Under will enjoy this release, it picks up pace from the last couple shitstorms and has taken care to attempt a bit more innovation, but in my opinion there's a million more death metal bands that do it all better than them.

All in all, I really think this album is boring as shit. But hey, this is Six Feet Under, the worst death metal band in existence, was I honestly expecting to be impressed? I had to listen to each song two or three times because they couldn't hold my attention at all. If I want to listen to some nice, well paced old school death metal, I'll pull out my Autopsy and Asphyx CD's, kick back and forget I ever spent time with this release.

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5,292 Posts
six feet under are awesome. neither of you have a clue.
east bay grease
68,058 Posts
I've never liked Barnes in anything, so I'm pretty damn biased. That's why I tried to be pretty fair with this thing.
35,635 Posts
warpath and haunted are awesome
life is gawbage
22,796 Posts

the only song i like about this band is "the one, about the wolf"
Len C Hammer
608 Posts
i didnt think this was as bad as america the brutal or bringer of blood,,, ive always liked old SFU this release is a little faster and a little more "technical" i think its pretty good, not as good as haunted or warpath
2,507 Posts
didnt this band put out an album like 6 months ago?

this shit is terrible.
Future Trillionare
113 Posts
the suck sweat from a fat guys thong
I have no legs!
9 Posts
lmfao i can breath into a mic too, to bad i wont get paid as much as these fuckers, they suck i bought "13" fucking trashed it the same day
25,328 Posts
this band blows
loves jews.
28,277 Posts
the show is really fucking good.
east bay grease
68,058 Posts
hahaha I forgot all about this review
party monster
7,972 Posts
I thought this was about the show
3 Posts
six feet under kicks some major portions of ass. if you dont like the fucking music then dont fucking listen to it.
45,044 Posts
i think its tracks 6, 7, and 8 all sound exactly the same. i had to check the display on my cd player, i thought it was a really really long song... it wasnt

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