Staff Rating

0.50/5

User Rating

2/5

The Bunny The Bear - Stories

Connor_McGaha   (38 reviews)

Posted: 03/23/2013 | Comments: 16 | Rate:

Unholy shit, boys and girls; when I saw that this album was available for review, I figured, "Eh, why not? It's Victory." Now, to be clear, I give EVERY album I listen to an objective listen-through, and I did The Bunny The Bear the same service. Blending elements of European house music, and--I swear to God I'm not making this shit up--Metalcore, this band exemplifies everything in life that I've purposely stayed the FUCK away from. However, I actually give this album very high credit as it actually reminded me that I, contrary to previous thoughts, don't hate myself and, even if I did, I still don't make music of the same level or variety as these talentless asshats. I can't believe I signed up for this.

Starting the album off with "Eating Disorder" (oh, the name is ironic! I get it!), this track begins with, as my girlfriend put it, "it's like the music that plays when you fucking walk around Runescape." Unfortunately, that's not all that comprises this song. Coming in all too soon, are weak, layered vocals that are as frail as Sonny Moore's, both before and after he became Skrillex--who this band has a striking resemblance to. Also, of course, are deathcore growls, and throaty yells that scream, "I fell asleep on my knees." I think this is a reference to religion (maybe?), but, more than likely, a reference to performing fellatio.

Then, holy shit, there's "In Like Flynn," a catchy-as-fuck, kind-of-sounds-like-Patrick-Stump-but-whinier song that fuses electronic beats and hardcore vocals like plastic and metal. A terrifying look into the mind of a 15-year-old girl, this track shows us all that we need to add another thing to the list of things to teach our children: "Don't get in the car with strangers, don't steal, and don't ever listen to bands that mix Euro-trance/dubstep with metal." Thank you for helping the safety of our offspring, The Bunny The Bear.

"Hey, Allie" has actually a kind of nice-sounding intro, almost oriental-ambient; however, knowing these guys, it doesn't stay long. Throwing in that Sonny Moore singing again, with over-distorted guitar, and wobble-bass like you've never heard. Eye-wideningly stupid lyrics permeate the track, as with most tracks on here, like, "Hey, Allie, you know it's true. I could never find another girl like you." (I think those are the lyrics. I didn't really want to rewind the song and listen again.) A sweet breakdown happens about 2/3 of the way through, with deathcore vocals, keyboard... things..., and that whiny voice coming back. Wow.

"It's Not Always Cold In Buffalo": Ok. Two things. 1. False, it is always cold it Buffalo. 2. This song sounds like Owl City with Daryl Palumbo-meets-Scott Stapp vocals. I swear to God. Everything poppy and "nice" that this song offers is immediately cancelled out by awful, power-ballad distorted guitars, off-key vocals, and the shittiest recordings of drums I've ever heard--oh, right. They're probably not real drums.

"Another Day" is a Skrillex-esque electronic song. Whatever. If that's what you're into, cool. It's boring. Why the hell did Victory sign this band?

I cannot explain in words how awful "The Frog" is. I'll try, anyway. Imagine the creepiest keyboard parts of John Carpenter's Halloween or Children Of The Corn, add in Sonny Moore's vocals off of "Ride The Wings Of Pestilence," Throw in some fake-ass drums that are consistently playing china cymbals, and, finally, put the vocals of Emmure right smack-dab in the middle. Jesus Christ.

"Melody" sounds like The Plain White T's meets Deadmau5 meets Hatebreed. Fuck this.

Right off the bat, I wanted "Imagine" to be a John Lennon cover, because I think the Beatles sucked, and I wanted this band to ruin that song for everyone. Unfortunately, no such luck. It's another, boring, unimaginably shitty song on the album. Let me be clear: I think that the little electronic beats and whatnot are cool. Whatever. I don't like electronic music, but it's not done poorly, objectively speaking, and the weak-ass vocals aren't really all that bad. However, every time they add those bullshit metalcore vocals and deathcore growls, I literally hate my entire life. This album makes me want to cut my throat with the largest slice of glass I can find.

"Your Reasons": another example of a cute-ass, nice-sounding power ballad that adds in screams and is ruined for any person of any demographic, ever. Are you seeing the same trend I am?

"What We're Here For": Daft Punk, plus Emmure, plus Never Shout Never. Do people actually listen to this shit?

"Sadie": YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS SONG IS ACTUALLY REALLY FUCKING COOL. There's NO screaming, no shittily-distorted guitar, and it's a nice, pleasant song. I would play this shit at a party or a nice picnic. (Actually, no I wouldn't, because this band is still awful, and I refuse to support them.) GREAT JOB, THE BUNNY THE BEAR! You got Half a star!

Look, if you like, "Sadie," that's cool. So do I. If you like any of these other songs, you're an idiot. This music is absolute garbage, and belongs in the trash. Holy shit. I can't get over how bad this was. It's over. Halfway through this review, I literally took off my headphones and threw them across the Starbucks I'm in; I bordered on a mental breakdown throughout every second of the almost-43-minutes that this album is. Yes, 43 minutes. Please, don't listen to this album.

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Comments
Pulp Free
52,190 Posts
35/M/PA
This is seriously one of the worst "bands" I've ever heard in my life. The fact that they have a following makes my soul hurt.
HONKY TONK BLUES
44,953 Posts
37/M/PA
Originally posted by: ExpertReviews

I am looking to review this album for my new website, would it be possible for you to send me the tracks?

Woooo!
27,788 Posts
43/M/PA
Good review. Please promote a different site for reviews.
nah im alright
3,871 Posts
34/M/PA
Originally posted by: WREN

This is seriously one of the worst "bands" I've ever heard in my life. The fact that they have a following makes my soul hurt.

old dancing boy
38,182 Posts
33/M/PA
what did say about calling me a boy?
Cats. Hardcore.
101 Posts
25/M/VA
What did I say about you asking me to stop calling you boy, boy?
vanilla gorilla
213,242 Posts
38/M/PA
Your move, nips
old dancing boy
38,182 Posts
33/M/PA
i dont know what your talking about
old dancing boy
38,182 Posts
33/M/PA
i cant edit my youre
Cats. Hardcore.
101 Posts
25/M/VA
Originally posted by: ass nipples

i cant edit my youre



You mean your "you're?" ASSNIPS2016
old dancing boy
38,182 Posts
33/M/PA
idk lol
I have no legs!
27,231 Posts
8/M/PA
Bums me out they're still a band.
I have no legs!
1 Posts
25/M/NA
I heard 'In Like Flynn' and didn't really like it, but their last two albums were very good and I would recommend them so long as you are someone who doesn't mind a bit of screaming.
still oh so ill
8,438 Posts
36/M/MD
Saying that about this record is like saying "I'd recommend eating shit to someone... as long as they don't mind the taste of shit."
Fuck That Bird
1,593 Posts
36/M/NY
Why the fuck does this "band" still exist?

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